Rebuilding Communication After a Rough Patch
Communication is an essential part of any relationship, whether that be a marriage, friendship, or parental relationship. But sometimes, there can be instances of misunderstandings that cause feelings of confusion, anger, and resentment. You cannot let these mistakes tarnish the relationship you’ve built. Repairing communication is important because it will prepare you for handling any future relationship conflicts. Rebuilding is possible when you make the effort to understand each other.
Before you take the necessary steps towards growth, you must acknowledge that there is a problem with communication and figure out the cause of the discrepancy. Signs of poor communication in a relationship include lashing out at little things, a lack of active listening, passive-aggressive behavior such as sarcasm or the silent treatment, a lack of honesty, and emotional distance. The causes of difficult rough patches may include stressful situations such as work problems and financial problems, differences in communication styles, or a lack of trust. Self-reflection is key to maintaining a strong relationship.
In order to have an honest conversation about poor communication, an environment must be made where you can feel free to express your vulnerability and feelings. It can be a setting where you can feel relaxed and without distractions. Then, you need to listen to understand instead of listening to respond. Do not interrupt the other while they are telling you about how they feel. Instead, practice active listening techniques, such as asking open-ended questions, validating the other's feelings, and avoiding defensive or dismissive reactions. This way, the other can know that you are truly listening to them instead of just hearing them.
Do not act accusatory towards the other. Communication problems should be approached from an “us vs. the problem” way instead of a “me vs. you” way. To do this, you should use “I” statements to prevent sounding like you are blaming the other person for the problem. You are not taking the blame for the problem; you are just acknowledging the other’s perspective. By practicing empathy, you are making big steps towards reconciliation.
Stick with your new, healthier communication habits - they're what rebuilds connection over time. Trust is also essential. Following through on your promises and showing up with clarity (not mixed signals) lays the foundation for a relationship that lasts.
No matter how out of balance your communication might be, rebuilding is always possible. Rough patches are a part of life, and with one step at a time, you and your loved one will be talking with each other rather than at each other.
